Quick Christmas Recap

Merrrrrrrrry Christmas!

Ours was fast and furious but it was great to spend Christmas with both sides of our family.  I am back at work already (booooo!) and haven't downloaded the pics from my camera yet but I DID manage to steal some from my sister-in-law's website (thanks, Kelly!).

Here's a condensed recap of the Walker Family Christmas (yes, very similar to a good ol fashioned, Griswold family Christmas....minus the lime green RV in the driveway).

Papa and his grandsons

Mom and I laughing at Jack, Luke's cousin and future partner in crime.  I can't wait to see the trouble that these two will get into.  They are hilarious.  More proof below

Yes, that onesie says "Santa's Favorite".  Clearly, Luke.  Who could argue with THAT!?!?!?  

Boys will be boys.  They already love to play.  Or, Jack loves to play and Luke lays there with a look that begs to be saved.  Give him time...he's going to whooping up on Jack in no time!

Jack's going in for a kiss.  We hope.  There were bites that were distributed the night before but Luke did not fall victim.  Lucky fella!

and clearly Christmas was the most exciting for this lil kindergarten-er.  I couldn't be more excited to see her start ballet and tap.  I told her I wanted to know the name of her dance studio so I could enroll in an adult class and we could carpool  She didn't like that idea though so we scrapped it.  I think she was worried her aunt would embarrass her - imagine that!!!!

Photo dump from my camera (with more from the Walker Christmas and the Turner Christmas pics) will come as soon as I can get my pictures downloaded.  

HOPE IT WAS A GREAT TIME FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.  MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!  

Embrace the chaos.

MERRY (almost) CHRISTMAS

I wish I could have sent one to everyone I know and everyone I meet.  But now that I've mailed them out,  this electronic version will have to do for the rest of you!  Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Kiss your loved ones and enjoy this time of year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from my family to you and yours!

Luke's Birth Story - Part II

So, yep.  I didn't quite have to wait in the hospital five weeks at that point.  In fact, things pretty much went at a frantic pace from there on out.  I started to really feel contractions.  Not in like a "there's this weird cramping feeling going on" kinda way.  It was more a "holy moly, this is labor" kinda way. 

I started to dilate more and they realized the magnesium wasn't slowing my labor (yes, it was magnesium I think...not merconium like I said before?   Who knows! It really was all a blur - and none of you really care WHAT it was, right?  Just know there was something they gave me to try to stop it all from coming so quickly!)  At that point, maybe 7:00 in the morning, I was given a dose of steroids to try to beef up baby boy's lungs.  The next dose could be administered in twelve hours so we were hopeful I'd make it.

But I didn't.

What felt like maybe an hour later, the anesthesiologist came in and said she had only a few minutes to do the epidural so she had some quick questions and gave me a quick overview. Did I have any questions?   Hell, no, just give me the epidural before it's too late!  So, she popped that thing in there so fast and pain-free in comparison to what I had been feeling.  (She's awesome by the way.  I can't remember her name anymore, but she was so cool, and even checked on us later to give us some suggestions for doctor's for Luke, etc.)  Not only was the anesthesiologist awesome, but the epidural was big time relief!  And with the pain gone, I could focus on calming myself --- and my husband! -- down.  And shortly after that, my doctor was in to check on me again and I was embarrassed but said, "I either peed the bed or my water might have broken".  And, not sure now which would have been worse, but it was my water breaking.  Things really flipped into high gear. As my doctor said that we were going to have this baby in the next hour or so I kind of panicked -- we can't have him now!  We haven't taken the childbirth classes, or the parenting classes!  We aren't even registered to GO to the classes until September!  Kelsey said something about getting the Cliff's Notes version and squeezed my hand.  Right then, I knew we were all going to get through this together.  It was going to take some incredible medical intervention for our little boy, but I knew we'd all be okay.  

Kelsey was a rock.  I'm pretty sure he must have had some valium or something but we was cool and calm and there's not a thing I would have changed about the was he looked at me in that moment.  This was about to happen.  We were seriously becoming parents...in the next hour!  WOAH!

A team of probably 12 or 14 people came into the room (or maybe it just felt that way?).  There was my doctor and a team of nurses with me and another team waiting to tend to Luke immediately.  I had given Kelsey strict instructions from the time we found out I was pregnant.... he would NOT be down south during labor.  So, I -- in the midst of all this craziness -- had them wheel my bed to the center of the room so he could stand behind me at my head.  Literally three pushes and the doctor even went "Woah!" on the last one.  Luke was ready to be here.  Poor thing had a cone head like the SNL skit - he'd been just waiting patiently in position for so long his little noggin was really pointy!  He was bruised along the left side of his body and having trouble breathing but they wrapped him up in a little foil looking suit, gave us a quick peek and then wheeled him down to the NICU.  Kelsey joined Luke while my doctor finished things up with me. 

AND.THAT.WAS. TORTURE!  Not knowing what was going on or how he was doing was just awful.  I'm sure they kept me posted but all I could do was ask to go down to the NICU.  They wouldn't let me go see him until my epidural wore off.  The test for that was to be able to lift my legs from a sitting position.  So that's all I did for the next hour or two.  My family came in to see me, my in laws were still driving down from Oklahoma, but I just sat there trying to lift my legs.  The second I could get some air on those bad boys, I was wheeled down to the NICU where I got to hold sweet Luke's hand.  We took our first family photo - I'm pretty sure it was this one...

Looking back now, it's amazing now how far we've come.  And we're only four and a half months into this crazy game of parenting.  We still have so many questions that we will never truly have answers to.  There's no telling what in particular caused this.  There's no certainty for what the future holds, if this is a given for our next baby.  We just pray that as tough as little Luke had it, our next baby (if there IS a next!) won't have to journey down this road again.  

It wasn't quite the story we had expected, but it's our story and it's made Luke such a little fighter.  He's stubborn.  He's sweet.  And most of all he will never, for one second, ever, be taken for granted.  He's our little blessing, our million dollar baby.  Whatever you want to call him.  We are just happy that he's home.  He's ours.  And he's healthy!  

We go for a weight check tomorrow - say a prayer that he's back to gaining like he's supposed.  We had a slow down last time we were there and it set off a caution bell with our pediatrician.  So, if you think of it, we'd appreciate the prayers that things continue to progress as they should!  Our sweet little man!

Luke's Birth Story - Part I

I know I should have posted this sooner rather than later so I wouldn't forget all the details.  But ya'll....there's some details I WANT to forget!  What a wild experience.  It's pretty emotional (still) for me but with all the people asking "what happened...did you just....go into labor?" and other questions along those lines, I thought the time has come to tell the story of Luke's original birth day.

So...back up a few days prior (3 to be exact) from Luke's birthday.  That Wednesday, I went in for a checkup. My blood pressure was high and my in utero fluids were high.  They thought that was strange because usually if one is high the other is low and vice versa.  So off to the hospital we went, all kinds of freaked out.  Worried about our sweet little man's health.  And we get there, get plugged into monitors and my blood pressure was...fine.  Completely 100% normal.  For over three hours.  So I was released with a note to go on "modified bed rest".  I was told this means no going into the office, no errands, etc. but I didn't have to be flat on my back all day.  Sounded great to me!

So Thursday, late afternoon I met some friends at the pool for some relaxing floating around.  One of the girls was also pregnant and due the day before me so we talked about how we hoped we'd go into labor early since we felt so huge.  Surely our little babies must be massive.  WELL, little did I know!

Friday, I was mostly good about modified bed rest.  I worked some from home while in bed, but we had company coming in to town for our couple's shower on Saturday so I convinced my mom to drive me to the grocery store to grab some fresh flowers and some cinnamon rolls.  I just didn't feel right at the store.  Mom invited me to come down for dinner and I just felt like I needed to go  home and lay down.  And as I did, I started feeling some cramping.  Nothing crazy but it was out of the ordinary and something made me think to time them.  I ended up paging my doctor when I realized they were at regular intervals -- 9 minutes apart.

My doctor, who is not only an amazing doctor but a fantastic person in general, told me nonchalantly that he'd like me to come by the hospital just to "check things out".  I literally put on a sundress and wedges and figured we'd go out to eat afterwards.  No bags packed, no PJs, no toothbrush.... nothing.  Kelsey and I walked into the hospital after talking about how we wouldn't even tell anyone we were going to the hospital since I just felt ridiculous. I mean, we didn't want everyone knowing at our shower on Saturday that I had been at the hospital for "nothing".

Our nurse met up with us in the lobby and took me back to labor and delivery.  I kept saying, "I'm sure I'm crazy and it's nothing.  I'm just paranoid after being here the other day..." blah blah blah.  Ya'll, I really thought I was crazy.  Of course, there's no WAY I could be in labor.  I wasn't due for another two months!!!

Katie (who is awesome and if you're pregnant you should a.) deliver at Baylor Frisco and b.) request Katie in L&D.... you can thank me later Katie, when all the crazies head your way!!!!) Anyways....Katie was our nurse and she is awesome.  She joked around, kept us calm and for the most part, let me know that they were just monitoring things.  Nothing was showing up as a contraction on the monitors but she could feel them on my belly.  Wait, what?  These are...contractions???   HOLY....

There was a lot of laying around, talking, laughing and waiting.  Waiting to see what my body would do.  what our sweet baby would do. At one point, Katie and two other nurses rushed in and I thought they were flipping me over a joke, you know to see my butt or something?  Who knows.  But that's how relaxed it was.  And how funny Katie is.  But, apparently, they were NOT joking and I needed to turn immediately.  Luke's little heart rate had dropped momentarily and by re-positioning me it went back up on it's own.  So, that bought me the night, guaranteed.  Katie said they would keep me but could take me off the monitors at midnight.  I thought she was crazy.  What's the point in being at the hospital if I'm just laying in bed, unplugged from everything?  Whatever, crazy nurse.  ;)

From this point on, my times are all of.  I took some medicine to help me sleep and at what I think was 2am, I woke up with some serious cramping.  I think it was at this point that they started merconium (iffy on the name, but it was medicine to stop my contractions and to halt labor).  My doctor came by and explained that now I had bought myself an extended stay in the hospital.  He even said, "Of course, if you make it to 35 weeks you can go home because at that point it's fine if you go into labor but you'll be here otherwise".  I thought yuck.  Who wants to be in the hospital for FIVE weeks?  Well, I got what I wished for.  I wasn't in the hospital but another two days.

To be continued.....

Christmas is Coming....

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat...pleased to put a penny in the old man's hat!  (Has anyone else grown up with that Christmas song or was my childhood a freak of nature? Anyhoooo)

Yep, Christmas is coming!  I swear I haven't been ignoring it in favor of baby (disclaimer:  nor, have I been ignoring baby in favor of Christmas!).  I love that Christmas is here - the house is decorated, not our best year for decorations, but they're done.  I'm only about halfway done with my shopping but so far, I'm really pleased with the gifts I've bought.  Don't you just love coming up with the perfect gift?  I've managed that for each gift purchased so far and considering the budget we are on this year (thank you medical bills) that was no small feat. 

So, in case you are still trying to come up with some gift ideas, I thought I would share some things on my wish list and maybe it will spark an idea for the loved ones in your life.  I'd love to share what I've bought for my family but I'm pretty sure that would spoil some good suprises!

This was my big ticket, early gift that I got on black Friday.  We got a heck of a deal and I feel like it makes me a better mom.  Ok, not really, but that's how I sold the idea at my house!

So, of course there's accessories that are great for this.  If you've got a photographer - or new mom - that you're shopping for, how about one of these cute dslr camera strap covers (courtesy of Etsy)

And these beauties?  Don't even get me started.  I told the hubs if he wasn't getting me these to let me know and I would go get them and they could be from Luke.  HA!

So that's the exciting stuff.  But there are some smaller, stocking stuffer or little gift that not only are affordable but are apparently the ideal gift for someone who is getting old and boring practical.

Genius.  Or these?  I've packed away maternity clothes, preemie and newborn sizes of Luke's clothes but I really am anxious to implment these bad boys.

So, there you have it.  That's what's on my list.  Some exciting, some practical, but hopefully it sparked some ideas for you to get the perfect gift for the one you love! 

Merry Christmas - it'll be here before you know it.  We are aiming to take little man to visit Santa for a photo op (with the new camera!) on Friday.  Pictures to come if we make the visit!



Things I Never Knew Until Now

While we were in the NICU, we made friends with Luke's "roommate" HG.  And they're the kind of friends where you just know you were supposed to be friends.  There's just too many similarities.  Both having babies 9 weeks early.  Both babes weighed right at 3 pounds, in beds right next to each other.  HG's daddy and I both work at the same place.  We all live within a mile of each other.  We even had the same wedding colors... just a ton of weird similarities.  But beyond that "on paper" type of similarities, just sharing the experience of NICU created a friendship and an incredible level of understanding.  The fear of what if's.  The joy of celebrating the small steps forward.  The journey home.  Navigating the ropes with the doctors and the meds and schedules and all that.  There's no one that quite understands like another NICU mama.  And since we are within weeks of each other's schedules, that helps out tremendously too.

Any hoooo... So HG's mama and I were talking yesterday and decided that someone needs to let other mom's (or hopeful mom's or future mom's...) know the truth.  Too many times I've heard new moms bragging about their five week old baby that sleeps through the night.  Or heard the stories of what a happy little baby so-and-so is.  Or what an easy baby.  But this folks, is me keeping it real.  Not all babies are happy, easy, sleeping through the night babies.

Luke isn't a happy baby.  He's on the cusp of it now, but a couple of weeks ago, there was more crying until he couldn't catch his breath than there was anything else.  Don't get me wrong.  There are moments.  He smiles and all is right with the world.  Like, you just know he really wants to laugh but hasn't quite mastered that trick yet.  But for the majority of the time, he's either asleep or crying.  Well, and as of Saturday, maybe swinging.  (Yay!  Our son loves his swing now.  Finally.  Someplace to set him down where he's content for a few minutes!!!!   YESSSSSS)

And sleeping through the night?  HA!  Those babies must get a little bourbon in their bottle.  At our house, now 17 weeks into this whole trying to raise a baby thing....well, we are going four to five hours at a time.  And we are THRILLED with that. 

That's what a baby will do to you.  It's hard.  Everyone tells you it's hard.  But I seriously could not possibly prepare for how hard this journey would be.  Is it worth it?  Hands down, one million percent.  Unequivocally I love my little man something fierce.  But that doesn't mean it's all roses and a walk in the park.  We work hard on raising this baby.  Oh, and the worry?  Woah, the worry is insane and apparently never goes away from what I'm told.  It's not just a neurotic, over the top worry.  You worry about everything from major things to the totally mundane.  Am I being a good mom, doing the best that I can for my child to make sure he develops to his full, healthy potential?  Is he eating/sleeping/acting/playing/whatever right?  Do I _______ too much/ not enough/etc.  Is his diaper too tight?  If we go to _____ and he looses it are we going to be able to ignore the staring?  Why did he just spit his pacifier out?  Is he looking to the left too much?  Should his hand do that?  Geez, does he have a fever?  That was his third cough in sixteen days - is he getting sick?  Ok, that's a little extreme (sorta, but not really out of the question).  Regardless, you get the point. 

We ain't playing house here, kids.  This is the real deal.  It's hard, absolutely.  But holy moly is it ever worth it!  And as much as I wish someone had prepared me for all this, I'm not sure it's possible until you are thrown into it, sink or swim. 

Here's hoping we swim.

Case of the Mondays...

Seriously.  I'm trying to get motivated.  I really am.  But somehow, I keep thinking about this lil guy...

And wishing I was home snuggling.  Oh, Monday.  Here we go again. 

That aside...I'm hoping for a productive week.  I've got lots to keep me busy at work and at home!  Tomorrow may (or honestly may not for all I know!) entail Luke's first Santa visit.  I think he's asking for practical things this year....you know like diapers and bottles, maybe a rattle if he gets real wild.  Who knows!?!?!?

On a Roll!

Woah.  I'm actually posting AGAIN!  YOWZERS.  And get this...more pics too!  YESSSSSS...

Here's the some more pictures from our extended family Christmas photos.  Love the pics - love the photographer.  Love my boys.... Just love them.

http://www.leslieclawsonphotography.com/


While Luke was inside warming up, mommy and daddy got some pics alone...

Then Luke joined the fun.  Here's a couple of my boys... Mainly because he and daddy have matching wool pea coats on.  And who could pass up a picture of a daddy and son matching!  HA!

There's more with my extended family and some with all three of us in my previous post.  And if I'm being honest with you, there's one more that's my favorite of just us Turners but that one will have to be posted after I get my Christmas cards sent out! 

Thanks, Leslie for another great round of pictures.  It was cold and windy but way to make the best of it! 

Working Mama

Well, one week into working and it's been a really big challenge.  Honestly, I'm not sure that's the right word because it's probably physically easier to leave my little guy with my mom or my mother-in-law (who are amazing and taking turns keeping him while I'm at work for now).  It's easier to go and sit at my desk and do my job as long as I can mentally stay focused on my work.  Emotionally, it's incredibly trying.  I just feel like my priorities have done a 180 and this whole "making, moving and selling chips" that I do at work, while important for a paycheck, is really kinda low on the totum pole.  I'm sure having a baby does that to anyone but having a wittle bity baby that's so delicate and you fight to get big and healthy....well that REALLY does a number on you and makes you re-evaluate it all. 

That all being said, most of the people at work have been really supported and put up with all my "proud mama stories".   Who woulda thought I'd be one of the crazy moms that pulls out pictures to anyone who asks me how my son is doing? 

Speaking of... dontcha want to know how my boy is doing?!?!?!  We still can't believe his cuteness factor continues to go up and up...  Check these bad boys out from his newborn session...

 sweet baby boy... 

photos courtesy of http://www.leslieclawsonphotography.com/ - Luke's newborn pics

And compare those to some we took just a week or so ago - same amazing photographer http://www.leslieclawsonphotography.com

please disregard my hair.  Ugh, the wind wouldn't cooperate!

and with the whole extended Walker fam

Obviously, my little man is getting so big so fast.  We know we aren't supposed to wish away this time, but we can't help but thinking about next year, how he'll be mobile, eating off our plates and maybe even a little into the excitement of the Christmas season, or at least the excitement of getting gifts! 

We go to the pediatrician tomorrow for a 4 month check up (and shots...) and to the pulmonologist on Wednesday for his second round of a live culture immuno-therapy (another shot...) to help fight against the nasty and dreaded RSV.  I'll post 4 month stats soon!  Say a prayer that he takes these shots like a champ.  Last time was pretty hard on him, but harder on this mama!

Birth Announcement

I couldn't be happier with how these turned out and just wanted to share with everyone.  How cute are they?

Side one (looks a little neon compared to what it really is....)

and side 2 with the "stats"

If you're needing Christmas cards printed or birth announcements, invitations, whatever... Julie is your girl! http://www.inmaninvites.blogspot.com/ and our photographer is fabulous too http://www.leslieclawsonphotography.com/  AND, as an added bonus, they are both Aggies!

Good news!

Well, I've got good news and I've got bad news.  Let's start with the bad shall we?  This morning, I had to load up Luke and drop him at my mom's for the day because it was time for the inevitable....my return to work.  YIKES!  It's been a bit overwhelming to say the least! So, I thought I'd pop over to the 'ol blog.  Which leads to the good news.... I'm back at a computer and might actually kick the dust off this here blog and start updating regularly.  I've got so many pictures to post, stories to tell and all that but this working mama's gotta get back to it.  And by it, I mean the work I need to do instead of missing my lil guy. 

Extreme

Yep - this whole parenting thing is extreme.  I've decided I use "so" too much so I'm switching to extreme.  I'm extremely full of love for my son, my new family.  I'm extremely grateful for his health and praying that it continues.  I'm extremely tired.  I'm extremely anxious.  Extremely unsure of how to be the best mother.  Extremely excited to see him grow into the man I know I will respect, the man I know he will become.  Just...extreme.  It seems like we are living every aspect these days in the extreme. 

Honestly, it has been a tough 6 weeks.  Extremely tough.  We've had more than our share of bumps in the road as Luke has joined our family.  But we're hanging in there.  Not necessarily blogging it all like I'd hoped to do, but I assure you I AM taking a ton of pictures with every intent of getting them online soon.  But for now, I'm trying to soak up the good extremes and balance out the rough ones.  (quick note - I'm holding out on posting a ton of pics until I get his "newborn" pics taken next week so I can show some of mine and some of the fantastic ones that I know are sure to come!)

Luke's been home two weeks today and I fall more in love with him every day.  I know...so cliche right?  But I was that person who every time someone said "you don't get a mother's love until you experience it", I was all, "duh, of course".  But I mean, really.  This motherly love thing is extreme and as much as I knew that going into it all, I didn't really know it.  If I had super hero powers, I swear I would use them all to make this one tiny man the happiest person on the planet for the rest of his life. 

But, while he is doing well, he's still kind of struggling.  His little lungs aren't quite developed and, especially now that he's been fighting a cold, he's had a rough couple days.  Which makes for a rough couple days for mom and dad and a lot of sleepless nights.  He's definitely doing better today though and we are so excited to start introducing him to our friends...our healthy, hands scrubbed, adult friends.  With no kids in tow.  (See, my extreme, crazy psycho mom skills have to be in play until he starts getting monthly vaccines to boost his weak little immune system.) 

It's honestly been really hard for me to isolate him like his neonatologist and pediatrician have ordered.  I want to show him off.  I want to take him to family dinners and restaurants and let everyone fawn over him.  Literally though, he's been to the pediatrician and the ER.  In two weeks.  That's it.  And despite this immense love I have for him, and my desire to do whatever I need to in order to make him healthy and strong, it's been a challenge.  So it will be a huge blessing when he can slowly get out a bit more. 

I guess my whole "lesson" from this round of breathing issues is that this extreme love will get you by when you don't get the sleep or shower or meal or outside interaction that you think you need to continue on.  I mean, look at this face.  How could I really complain!?!?

Yes, this I'm almost certain this is a rambling post.  Probably won't make sense to anyone who may happen to still be reading.  No, actually, I'm guessing new moms out there will get it.  And preemie moms will definitely get it.  But they say that you forget all the tough first weeks or you'd never have more than one child so I feel the need to put all this down and make it concrete.  That way, when the next round of sleepless nights rolls around, or the next ER trip, the next cold, the next whatever....I can go back and assure myself that this to shall pass.  The love that I feel for my family though...now that will be sticking around indefinitely.

More exciting stuff to come.  For now, my sweet little guy needs a diaper change, a breathing treatment and a bottle.  And hopefully a good night's sleep is following all that!

Introducing

LUKE JAMES TURNER08.06.11

3lbs 0.3 ounces, 17.5 inches

There's a ton to catch up on blogging and I definitely want to document it all... but time is a little sparse these days!  Luke decided to do things on HIS schedule and came to meet his crazy family 9 weeks early!  What a little stinker!

We love him beyond words and although this journey isn't what we had planned, it's showing us what a strong little boy we already have on our hands. 

Sorry, no time to reformat that last one to be oriented correctly.....

Please say a prayer for Luke to continue to grow stronger with every day.

And here's a link for some more sweet pictures.  I especially like the one where he's holding Dude's Dude's wedding ring.  He's just a tiny little nugget of a boy!

And because this is really all I've been up to....

Another belly pic.  Because I feel like all I can do right now is grow this massive little dude.  So, this is about all that's new in my world.  Just a bigger belly, bigger belly button, bigg butt... just....bigger in general.  Whew!!!  How many more weeks, doc!?!?!?

Yes, I know that's dust.  And trust me, it ain't on the picture or the camera of my phone.  That's me.  Keeping it real.  Because I haven't dusted in...well, let's just leave it at that.  I.  Haven't. Dusted. 

The End.

Still Cookin...

Baby Luke is still cooking but it sounds like we might be meeting him sooner rather than later.  Funny, you can barely tell I'm pregnant in this pic......  ha!

I've got this all figured out...

Don't worry...I'm pretty sure I've got this all figured out for the medical community.  No, I'm talking about parenting... Lord knows I need all the wisdom I can get before little dude arrives in a couple months.  But this whole post partum depression deal.  No wonder women get all down in the dumps after giving birth.  It must be a culture shock after all the smiles and pleasantries from random strangers during pregnancy! 

For example...

I just went to grab some lunch.  Nothing fancy, just a sandwich from Einstein's Bagels (their spicy tomato spread is really awesome- try it!).  So, first, they bring another person up front to take my order (and there were only two other people in line).  The guy taking my order chats me up about is it my first, is it a boy or a girl, are we so excited or getting nervous, yada yada yada.  Nice right?  Then, I get to the next "station" where I go to pay and the girl is all, "You definitely need an iced sugar cookie" and gave it to me for free.  I'm thinking, wow these people are so sweet - or I look miserable with swollen ankles and sweat poring down my face. But honestly, I think they really were that nice. 

So then....

I'm standing there waiting for my lunch and this random guy who is also waiting for his food started making the standard preggo small talk --- due date, sex, what hospital, who's my doctor (found out this guy was also a doctor and used the same hospital...good to know I guess).  Since people at my office are so dang quiet all day it was kinda nice just to chat for a few minutes.  Then he's all, "can I ask you a favor?" and I got real nervous and was like "sure" and he said, "could I give you this cash?  I don't have my wallet on me and I don't have any pockets in these shorts.  They won't take tips and I won't be able to carry my order and my change." 

Kinda weird right, but then the guy hands me $14.  Huh?  People just give pregnant ladies free money?  WOW.  So now I can't decide if maybe I'm just looking really ratty today - I mean do I look like I can't afford the cookie?  Do  I look like $14 is going to make or break me?!?!?  What the --- !!!!!

--- Sorry, that must have been my hormones talking---

So,  anyways, I didn't feel right about taking the money so (sorry, Dude's Dude...I know you're going to think I'm a nut but...) I gave it to this little girl that was sitting having lunch with her mom and told the man that she would be able to get something nice.

How's that for proof of my hypothesis that the world is much nicer to preggos?  No wonder it's all going to seem a little overwhelming (and less friendly) when I no longer am a swollen, sweaty pregnant mess!  How could it not in comparison? 

Oh, and Dude's Dude - don't worry.  I think I totally scored us some points for good karma when I gave the cash to the little girl. 

Preggo Update

Pregnancy Update  - almost 27 weeks

So, this is more for me than you.  Feel free to check back in, oh, another week or so when I post something that's not targeting audience "me".

Total Weight Gained: I'm not sure. Don't get me wrong - I weigh myself almost daily.  But it really varies.... but okay, how about a noncommittal, somewhere in the range of 11 - 14 pounds.  (eeek!)  And Luke and I are measuring two weeks ahead of schedule.  I should find out next week if this means an adjustment of my due date.

Sleep: Wish it was better!  I don't have any trouble falling asleep but it's tough to stay asleep.  On the bright side of things, I'm starting to get a lot accomplished in my nocturnal hours!

Maternity Clothes: Pants and shorts are a necessity. Shirts and some summer dresses are still a mix.

Best Moment of the Week: Dude's Dude read to little dude the other night (yes, read to him...in utero...) and it made me so happy to know I've married such a great father.  These two could be double trouble though if Luke takes after daddy too much!

Food Cravings: None really. I do find myself thinking about banana pudding a lot but I don't really act on it so I don't count it as a craving. 

Aversions: Still can't do BBQ.  So sad in the summertime to miss out on it!

Symptoms: Umm.. normal stuff. My stomach is bigger (or massive depending on my angle), my back hurts occasionally, I pee a lot, the usual.

Movement: Oh yes. I've been feeling movement for a good 5 weeks now. Love it.  I'm even seeing a bit of the tummy jumps when he gets real active.

Gender: Yep, thus why I mentioned Little Dude above.  The mini mister is Luke James!

What I miss: A really hot bath with a really cold glass of white wine.

What I'm looking forward to: 3-D sono next week!

Weekly Wisdom: I'm finally starting to let people help with things - in fact, dude's dude cleaned the house, we ordered pizza and I have finally started to let some of the "small things" go.

Milestones: According to BabyCenter, my uterus is apparently the size of basketball.  How's that for a milestone?     :)

And, for a pic

And because it makes me laugh, check out my view from above...

HOLY MOLY, YA'LL!  I think I'm gonna have a toddler instead of a newborn!

A Funny Blog Post

OMG.  This is too funny!  I can't take credit for finding this gem, but gladly offer my gratitude to a friend for sharing it with me.  It truly made my day, maybe my week!  I don't personally know this blogger, she's apparently a columnist in Houston but it's quite possible we were separated at birth.  This is right up my ally...




Check out http://thebloggess.com/ for other hilarious posts.  And here's a little something to wet your appetite.  I've been laughing about this all day.  Am I the only one who finds this hilarious!?!?!?  I've emailed it out and everything and haven't got any responses.  Hmmm...

And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.

June 21, 2011

in Random crap

This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I “just bought new towels“. Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.
Then Laura came to pick me up so we could go to the discount outlet together, and as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, “You are not allowed to bring any more goddam towels in this house or I will strangle you“.   And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display of enormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.

Laura:  I think you need one of those.

me:  You’re joking, but they’re kind of horrifically awesome.

Laura: I’m not joking. We need to buy you one.

me:  The 5-foot tall one was $300, marked down to $100.  That’s like, $200 worth of chicken for free.

Laura:  You’d be crazy not to buy that.  I mean, look at it. IT’S FULL OF WHIMSY.

me:  Victor’d be pissed.

Laura:  Yup.

me:  But on the plus side?  It’s not towels.

Laura:  Yup.

me:  We will name him Henry.  Or Charlie.  Or O’Shannesy.

Laura:  Or Beyoncé.

me:  Or Beyoncé. Yes.  And when our friends are sad we can leave him at their front door to cheer them up.

Laura:  Exactly. It’ll be like, “You thought *yesterday* was bad?  Well, now you have a enormous metal chicken to deal with.  Perspective.  Now you have it.”


Then we flagged down a salesman, and we were all “What can you tell us about these chickens?”, as if we were in an art gallery, and not in a store that specializes in last years’ bathmats.  He didn’t know anything about them, but he said that they’d only only sold one and it was to a really drunk lady, and then Laura and I were all “SOLD.  All this chicken belongs to us now.”

Insert-inappropriate-cock-joke-here.

So he loaded it onto a trolley, but Beyoncé was surprisingly unstable, and the giant 5 foot metal chicken crashed over onto the floor.  And Laura and I were all “CHICKEN DOWN!  CLEAN-UP IN AISLE 3″ but he didn’t laugh.  Then the manager came to see what was causing all the commotion, and that’s when he found the very-conservative salesman unhappily struggling to right an enthusiastically pointy chicken which was almost as tall as he was.  The salesman was having a hard time, and he told everyone to stand back “because this chicken will cut you“, and at first I thought he meant it as a threat, like “That chicken has a shiv”, but turns out he just meant that all the chickens’ ends were sharp and rusty.  It was awesome, and Laura and I agreed that even if we got tetanus, this chicken had already paid for himself even before we got it in her truck.
Then we got to my house and quietly snuck the chicken up to my front door, rang the doorbell, and hid around the corner.

Knock-knock, motherfucker.

Victor opened the door and looked at the chicken in stunned silence for about 3 seconds.  Then he sighed, closed the door and walked away.

Laura:  What the fuck?  That’s it?  That’s the only reaction we get?

me:  That’s it. He’s a hard man to rattle.


Victor was surprisingly pissed that I’d “wasted money” on an enormous chicken, because apparently he couldn’t appreciate the hysterical value of a 5 foot chicken ringing the doorbell.  Then I said, “Well, at least it’s not towels” and apparently that was the wrong thing to say because that’s when Victor screamed and stormed off, but I knew he was locked in his office because I could hear him punching things in there.  Then I yelled through his door, “It’s an anniversary gift for you, asshole.  Two whole weeks early.  15 YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS.”

Then he yelled that he wanted it gone, but I couldn’t move it myself, so instead I said okay and went to watch tv.  Then when the UPS guy came I hid, but he was all “Dude.  Nice chicken” and Victor yelled, “IT IS NOT A NICE CHICKEN”.  Which was probably very confusing to the UPS guy, who was just trying to be polite, Victor. Victor seemed more disgruntled than usual, so I finally dragged the chicken into the backyard and wedged it into a clump of trees so that it could scare the snakes away.  Then I came in and Victor angrily pulled me into his office so that I could see that I’d stationed Beyoncé directly in front of his only window.  And I was all “Exactly. YOU’RE WELCOME.”  I told him that he could move Beyoncé if he wanted to, but he totally hasn’t.  Probably because of all of the giant rocks I piled on Beyonce’s feet to dissuade burglars.  Or possibly because Beyoncé is growing on him.  Still, I can’t help but think that we wouldn’t even be having this argument if Beyoncé was towels.  Honestly, this whole chicken is really a lesson in picking your battles more carefully.  Plus, he’s awesome and I can’t stop giggling every time I look at him.  Beyoncé, that is.


Best. 15th anniversary. ever.





***** ALL FUNNY-NESS in this post is not my original material.  Credit goes solely to thebloggess.com and Beyonce. 

Pregnant Chicken Hook Up

OMG.  Have ya'll heard of Pregnant Chicken?  My sister-in-law has sent me a couple funny posts from it, but seeing as I'm trying to (1) recover from the holiday weekend; (2) avoid doing any work; and (3) sit really still hope I'm not catching strep throat (that Dude's Dude is home with), I decided to check out the blog.  Holy funniest site I've read in a while!  Here's one particular post that I LOVE....

Have a great week!

Clever Pregnancy Comebacks : Part Three

Here is the final installment of the Clever Comebacks!

Thanks to the peeps on Facebook who helped me with the "caffeine" comebacks – all I could think of was "f--- off".

Are you sure you're not having twins?! You're so big!

I'm totally using these :)

• Shhh, it's actually a litter of puppies but don't tell anyone yet.
• No, I actually have a condition called "Ur-a-dick". Google it. It's spelled the way it sounds.
• Did you say "twins" or "violins"? Oh, okay I guess both sounded kind of stupid.

"Is the nursery ready?"

• No, the baby isn't going to be staying with us.
• Yep, the sock drawer is all ready to go!
• Sort of, we're just waiting for the electric fencing to be installed.

"You must have wanted a girl/boy instead"

• Actually, I was hoping for a kitten that could burp glitter.
• Yes, I'm having a custom t-shirt made that says "I got pregnant and all I ended up with was this perfect baby boy/girl".
• I'll just trade it for something else in the hospital.

"You're just hormonal."

• Shall I tell your family that those were your final words?
• "I was simply hormonal, your Honor. I didn't mean to stab him in the neck with a pencil."
• I think you mean "ormornal". The "h" is silent when you're speaking in moron.

"How are you going to handle another one?!"

• We're selling the oldest one on eBay.
• Oh, it will be fine. I drink a little.
• I just won't pick this one up when it cries. I figure that will free up a lot of my time.

How ya feeling? (with a head tilt).

• I don't know, I'm still a little drunk.
• Strangely violent today.
• It's funny that you should ask that (then abruptly walk away).

"You should NOT be drinking caffeine." (or doing, eating, touching, etc. something else that's none of their damn business).

• Oh my gosh, Th...ank YOU! Are you SURE? I had NO idea. My doctor said it was fine, thank god you are here to save me from-what is it exactly the caffeine will do?
• The Voices say I can have caffeine. I don't fuck with the Voices.
• Decaf make PREGNANT HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!
• You shouldn't be wearing those jeans (etc.) but I didn't bring that to your attention.
• This is the best I can do since kicking the methamphetamine habit.
• It's not caffeine. It's doctor prescribed laxative tea because this pregnancy is making me so constipated I have hemorrhoids. Oh, sorry, was that too much information?
• You're right, tequila is better.
• F--- off.

I'm guessing if this is Part III, there's more goodness to follow but I just haven't made my way there yet and HAD to share this immediately! 

Things that Go Bump in the Night...

Well, more like things that go bump in the night, in the morning, all day long.  Little Luke doesn't care what time it is, this guy is a mover and shaker!  And last night, Dude's Dude finally got to feel the action!  It's been neat for me to feel the little flutters but last night, as I stretched out on the floor with Dude's Dude's hands on my belly, watching the basketball game, we both shared that first moment of feeling our son at the same time.  And let me tell ya... kinda blew this mama-to-be's mind (and daddy's for that matter)! What a crazy experience - and now, I can't wait for all the big moments to come.  Love this little boy so much already and can't wait to meet him.  I know, I know... we just passed the half-way mark a couple weeks ago, but still. And since I know he needs to "cook" a little bit longer, I'm hoping the 3-D/4-D sonogram in a couple weeks will tie me over.

Have a great weekend!

Weekend Update

Yay for actually having a social life this weekend!  Tonight, we are headed to a new dueling piano bar in Dallas, called the Penguin Bar (or something like that), for a friend's birthday party.  And the birthday boy's wife just happens to be one of my favorites so seeing her and the rest of the gang is always a good time!  We're meeting at 8:00 so here's hoping I get a nap in and can at least hang in there till 11:30 (although that's pushing it, I'm sure!)

Tomorrow, Dude's Dude is doing something really out of character.  Now, I know most people are either fanatical about Jimmy Buffet (as in love him and follow him to concerts and all that) or at least can tolerate his music.  Well, Dude's Dude and I just so happen to not fall into either of those categories....in fact, Buffet and his parrot heads pretty much make me want to bang my head against the wall.  BUT, Dude's Dude has a good friend that is a Parrot Head if we're being honest -- I mean, he's driving down from OKC to go to the Buffet concert in Frisco tomorrow.  And he asked Dude's Dude to tailgate with him since we live so close to Pizza Hut park these days.  And guess what?  Dude's Dude said YES.  CRAZINESS! 

So, while he's at the Buffet tailgating extravaganza (I mean, what else can you call it!?!?!?), I'll be


A)  Praying that he doesn't come home looking like this, singing "Cheeseburger in Paradise"

B)  Shopping - I've got a couple ideas for Luke's nursery that I'm so excited to start searching for!  

and

C)  May even attend an arts festival if the weather holds out.

Should be a fun one!  Hope you all have a good weekend!

Calm Before the Storm

So, this weekend was one of those that makes you wonder if it's the calm before the storm!  Dude's Dude was out of town and I had a weekend of R&R (and shopping)!  We recently moved to a new house - and love it! - but it needed some flowers and such.  So I forgot to get a before and after of the back -- but here's the front

And I added these gorgeous flowers on the front porch - no idea what they are so don't even ask!

And my sweet mama, painted the flower boxes in the back AND planted the flowers!  I know I'm spoiled...and she's the best!!!

And, not only did my mom get my yard into shape, she also took this mom-to-be shopping.  I must have tried on every maternity dress in the metroplex trying to find a couple for several weddings we are attending in June.  No luck on any dresses, but I did get these cute tops for work (and play):

I must confess, this last one is way cuter than it looks here - especially with my new white jeans!  LOVE IT!

I also finished reading The Help which I highly recommend!  It's going to be a movie soon (this summer I heard?) so if you're interested in reading it before seeing it, you better get on it!  It was a great read and the perfect topper to a relaxing weeked. 

And, here's the dreaded self-portrait in poor i-phone quality.  Yes, I'm in PJs...again.  With no make-up on so I intentionally blocked my face.  And NO, I'm not so swollen that I can't wear my wedding ring.  It was 8:30 on a Saturday night my bedtime and I was cozy....  So, here I am in all my 20 week glory!